Bad Parenting
by youbuggme
Summary: Two years after the war has ended and peace has been restored, Karin, Suigetsu, and Jugo are faced with their biggest adversary ever: raising a child.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **

**For: drawnjawns!**

**Enjoy**

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><p>Karin couldn't help but worry as she walked through the forest, not about where she was going but about what she was leaving behind (albeit only briefly). It had been seven years since the war ended and the five villages had come together and it was a time of peace. The Akatsuki were officially defeated, Madara was put into the ground for good, and there was actual peace on Earth.<p>

After the war ended, Karin and the rest of Taka were offered a place in Konoha. While the deal was wonderful, Karin, Suigetsu, and Jugo could not take up that offer. Konoha had nothing for them and they would never truly be able to live peacefully there. They were rouges and they would always be rouges. Nothing was going to change that.

Not even with their fearless leader, Uchiha Sasuke, choosing to go back to Konoha. Karin didn't know the details of him going back and honestly she didn't want to. It broke her heart to think of Sasuke leaving them for his old home and team, but deep down she knew that's where he wanted to be, it's where he always wanted to be.

So Karin left immediately. Not so much a day had passed since the war ended when she left the hospital in Konoha. She didn't even so goodbye to an armless Sasuke would was in the next room over. How could she? His pink haired teammate, the one _she_ replaced, was there with him. Karin couldn't see them together. It was too painful.

So when Karin left from Konoha without a peep, she had not expected to be stalked, that's right _stalked_, by the remaining members of Taka, Suigetsu and Jugo. Apparently they were on similar brainwaves of leaving Konoha. They mutually agreed that they would travel with each other until they got to Mist then they would split up. Suigetsu wanted to still gather those pathetic swords. Jugo just followed Suigetsu because he had no one else. Karin simply wanted to get as far away from Konoha as possible. It was a week trip and soon they were going to be out of each other's way, or so they thought.

But seven years had passed and they had been to Mist and back a thousand times along with Sand, Leaf, Cloud, and Stone as well as many other villages and they were still stuck with each other. Even more so than they were back when they were travelling with Sasuke. All because of one fateful night.

As Karin continued to leap through the trees, she began to think back to where it all started…

**Five Years Ago**

Karin stared at the fire pit with a blank look on her face. She couldn't believe it. This couldn't be happening to her. It just couldn't be possible…she couldn't be…no. There must be some sort of mistake. Perhaps she miscalculated…no…she double-triple checked. Karin clenched her eyes shut tightly. _Fuck._

"Oi, what the fuck are you doing?" Suigetsu hollered as he returned to the camp site. In his hands, he carried a string with three large fish attached to it.

Karin looked up at Suigetsu slowly, taking in the sight of her teammate before speaking in a low voice. "My period is late."

Suigetsu made a disgusted face as he sat across from Karin. He really didn't want to talk to her about her woman problems and instantly regretted bring up any sort of conversation with her. "Ain't that a good thing?" He began to puncture each fish with a spear to cook over the fire. "You are always so fucking annoying when you have that thing."

Karin stared at Suigetsu for a long time. "How fucking stupid are you?" She hissed lowly as her hands clenched tightly into fists.

Suigetsu frowned. "I thought this was a good thing. The later it is the better." Suigetsu smirked. He wasn't sure what he was saying that was riling Karin up, but if he was pissing her off somehow, he was going to keep doing it.

"Suigetsu." Karin spoke evenly and emotionless. "Do you remember what we did last month?"

Suigetsu rolled his eyes. "Look Karin, we fucked one time. Don't get all lovey-dovey with me, because I'm not interested. I don't want broad to hold me down. The last thing I want is a relationship with you-" Suigetsu froze midsentence and realized what Karin was getting at. "Wait…"

At this moment, Jugo returned to the site with their water containers filled. Jugo frowned as he watched Karin and Suigetsu stare at each other. Karin's usually emotional face was void of emotion and Suigetsu look like someone had punched him hard in the stomach, his eyes as wide as saucers.

"Is everything okay?" Jugo asked as he sat down. The two of his teammates were acting odd. He didn't like it. He was the odd one, he knew that.

"Oh gods." Suigetsu muttered. He swung his gaze up and locked it with Karin's. "You can't be serious." Karin nodded her head gravely. Jugo still didn't understand what was going on but it didn't sound good. "How could you let this happen?" Suigetsu snapped at Karin suddenly.

Karin blinked. "Excuse me?" She snarled as she stood up from her stop and narrowed her eyes on him. "You think this is solely _my_ fault?"

Suigetsu stood up as well with a snarky smile. "You would pull some shit like this! You're fucking crazy!"

Karin couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You think I want this? Oh you fucking crazy asshole!" She shrieked. "This is all your fault because you couldn't keep your fucking dick in your pants! I took fucking pity on your sorry ass because no one would fuck you and now look what you did to me." She barked as she pointed at her stomach.

"Me?" Suigetsu cried offended. "You wanted it just as much as me! With all your fucking bitching and moaning about missing fucking Sasuke and how you never got to fuck him, I was willing to fucking do anything to shut you the fuck up! And now look what you did!" Suigetsu pointed accusingly at the red head.

"Oh no!" Karin yelped. "Don't make this sound like you were doing me a fucking favor!"

Jugo frowned, still not fully understanding the context of what was happening.

Suigetsu took a dangerous step toward Karin. "You couldn't get over your fucking obsession with Sasuke and needed a good _hard_ fucking that you were willing to take anyone. This is your fault." He glowered.

Karin closed the distance between the two of them, her face coming inches from his. "You know what? Fuck you! Don't act all dignified and saying you did me a fucking favor because you wanted to satisfy your own fucking need. So shut the fuck up."

"Karin?" Jugo, finally tired of being left in the dark attempted to gather the more reasonable of the two's attention.

"What?" Karin whipped her head around hissing at Jugo.

"Are you pregnant?"

The world hung in the air as silence fell over the three rouges. Crickets chirped in the background and the fire crackled quietly as each truly absorbed the meaning of these words.

Jugo watched carefully, unsure what was going to happen next. Karin didn't need to make a verbal response because Jugo got his answer from the somber look on Karin's face.

Suigetsu swallowed hard as he watched Karin carefully. He was still hoping this was all some mean prank or Karin fucked up. He was half hoping that any moment she would start bleeding. Her annoyance would be welcomed compared to the overwhelming, haunting, notion that she might be…

The words hit Karin hard. She blinked slowly as she felt tears collect in her eyes and threaten to fall. She was nineteen. She wasn't nearly old enough to take on the responsibility of being a mother, especially with those two idiots around her. Karin's body slowly began to tremble uncontrollably as the fear shook her body. Her knee felt weak and she grabbed to the nearest thing to support herself before her knees fully gave out.

Suigetsu stared at Karin as he watched her slowly loose it. It wasn't the tears in her eyes that made Suigetsu's heart stop or the trembling of her body that made his stomach clench uncomfortable with guilt. It was that weak grip on her hand on his arm that made him fully understand how scared she was right now. So Suigetsu did the only thing he could think of that might comfort her.

He slowly pulled her towards him and wrapped both his arms around her in some sort of awkward embrace. Karin stiffened in his arms and Suigetsu was about to let her go when she latched on to the front of his shirt and let out and loud sob, burying her face into his chest.

Suigetsu stared down at her and rubbed her back as she cried; all he could think about was some way to fix what they both fucked up.

Karin on the other hand was too overcome by the hard truth that she was going to give birth to a child, a living being, and she was going to have to make sure she didn't kill it.

Jugo, who sat off to the side of the hugging pair did the only thing he knew to do in this situation. He carefully, tended to the slightly burnt fish, trying to salvage what was left of their dinner. Matters of the heart were hard for Jugo to understand, but he knew the comfort of survival.

So for that night, no one spoke a word to each other. They ate their dinner in almost complete silence. Suigetsu breaking the silence to scrap off the burnt pieces of Karin's fish, briefly explaining that they were carcinogenic and bad for the body and silently implying bad for the baby. They finished up their dinner in more silence and went to bed quickly afterwards.

Jugo fell into a light sleep, enough to go to sleep but light enough that he could easily be woken by any intruders in the area. Karin and Suigetsu were in no condition to look after themselves, so Jugo willingly took on this role if it meant keeping the group together.

Karin lied beside Jugo and cried herself to sleep. It took a long while, but with some more comforting hugs from Suigetsu she managed to fall into a fitful, restless, uncomfortable sleep.

Suigetsu stayed up, keeping watch and thinking about what was going to happen to them know that Karin was expecting…well, expecting something. This was going to change their lives forever.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed the first of many. This story will be a compilation of short little fluffy stories of Suika and Jugo raising a child as rouges. The original idea is from drawnjawns on tumblr!<strong>

**I hope you all enjoy and please review. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"Are you sure we can trust this so called <em>doctor<em>?" Suigetsu whispered in a low voice to Karin, putting an emphasis on doctor with air quotes. "I mean, what if your period is just really, _really_ late?"

The remaining members of team taka found themselves in a small village on the outskirts of Sand, right where the desert met the forest. Karin dragged Suigetsu and Jugo to the small clinic to make sure everything was okay and to see what they needed to do. Mostly, this was to just shut Suigetsu up and prove to him that she was in fact pregnant.

"Suigetsu," Karin hissed lowly, causing both Suigetsu and Jugo to freeze. "If you don't shut your fucking mouth this instant, I'll-"

"Sorry to keep you waiting." A young man walked in, stopping Karin in mid-threat, seemingly unaware of what was taking place.

Karin sat up straight on the exam table to give the appearance like everything was fine, when in reality she wanted to rip Suigetsu's head off. Suigetsu continued to lean against the table near Karin, eyeing the doctor suspiciously. Jugo sat in the nearby chair just tired of the constant arguing that seemed to only increase in the past couple of days after finding out Karin was pregnant.

"Oh no," Karin waved him off kindly, flashing him a bright smile. "You were hardly gone a few minutes."

"Felt like fucking hours." Suigetsu muttered lowly, but enough for everyone to still hear. Jugo sighed loudly while Karin threw a spiteful glare at Suigetsu.

The young doctor moved passed Suigetsu's comment as he flipped through his clip board. "Let's see…Yes, so while you are still a little early for any prenatal appointments, it never hurts to come early." He smiled kindly. "Anyways, just to clear any airs," He through a small glance at Suigetsu. "You are about five weeks pregnant. Now there isn't much for you to do right now, just take a few precautions. No drinking and smoking. Try to maintain a healthy diet; whatever you eat the baby will eat as well. Also exercise is very-"

"Are you really a doctor?" Suigetsu cut him off with a curious expression of his face.

"Of course." The doctor laughed condescendingly at Suigetsu. Jugo closed his eyes at the laugh. That was his first mistake. Now this was going to get ugly. "What else would I be?"  
>"A pervert." Suigetsu sneered.<p>

Karin went bright red in the face upon hearing Suigetsu's words. "Dumbass!" She punched him hard on his head, causing it to liquefy and splash onto the floor. She quickly turned and smiled kindly at the doctor. "Sorry about that."

The doctor stood there, his mouth hung open and his eyes wide, staring at where Suigetsu's head used to be. "I-Is he o-okay?" He stuttered nervously.

"Who him?" Karin rolled her eyes. "Of course, see." She gestured to Suigetsu where his head was manifesting again.

"Doesn't make it fucking hurt any less, crazy bitch." Suigetsu muttered before glaring at the doctor.

"Good." Karin jeered. "It's supposed to hurt, bastard. Now," Karin turned back to the doctor. "Where were we? Just ignore him, he is an idiot."  
>The poor, young doctor stood there unsure what was going on. He had never really dealt with ninja's before. There were a few in his village, but not many. Plus, from what he could tell, these were not the average ninjas.<p>

"Uh…exercise." He muttered, looking through his papers, even though none of them held the answers he wanted. "Exercise regularly, it'll help in the long run for the baby and for yourself after you give birth. Also-"

"Wait." Suigetsu stopped his closing his eyes before opening them and staring at Karin. "Giving birth? I thought we were here for an abortion?"

The room fell silent and Jugo cringed. He was waiting for Suigetsu to say something stupid. Now, if the doctor wasn't scared before, the yelling match between Karin and Suigetsu were going to do it in for him.

Karin growled lowly. "Where the fuck did you get that idea?"

"I thought this was the whole purpose of coming here." Suigetsu threw his hands up in the air.

"No, you fucking idiot." Karin spat. "We came here to figure out what the fuck we are supposed to do."

"Oh." Suigetsu frowned. "So no killing it?" He asked carefully.

"If we are going to kill anything, it's going to be you." Karin muttered darkly.

The poor doctor upon hearing Karin's words tried jump in but was instantly over shadowed by Suigetsu before he could say a word.

"And leave it without a father?" Suigetsu sounded appalled.

"I grew up without one and I was fine." Karin rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "Besides, I have Jugo."

"Yup." Jugo commented from his chair on the side of the room.

"Jugo goes berserk and kills people! What if he kills it?" Suigetsu tried to reason with Karin.

"You kill people on purpose!" Karin retorted sharply. "What if you kill it?"

"Oh, sorry for trying to make a living, fucking bitch." Suigetsu hissed as he leaned against the wall. "Okay, pervert doctor, keep going."

"I-I'm not a p-pervert." The doctor stuttered innocently.

"Like I said," Karin huffed. "Just ignore him."

The doctor nodded his head uncertain, and he had the right to be. After all, he just listened to them confess to being murderers. He just wanted to wrap up this entire discussion. "A-All that would b-be left is t-to come in f-for another a-appointment at the t-twenty week mark f-for the u-ultrasound."

"Does that have to be with you?" Jugo asked from his seat.

"N-No!" The doctor exclaimed a little too suddenly. "Not at all."

"Okay, because you aren't a very good doctor." Jugo sighed as he stood up.

"But a great pervert." Suigetsu whispered lowly to the doctor with a threatening smile as he exited the door with Jugo.

Karin lifted herself off the table and on to the floor. "Thank you for your time." She smiled falsely before following after the two boys. She had to agree with Jugo and Suigetsu, he didn't seem like their best bet for a doctor, too panicky.

Karin caught up to Jugo and Suigetsu outside the clinic and fell into step between them as they headed for their campsite.

"So we are really going to keep that little shit?" Suigetsu questioned carefully.

Karin narrowed her eyes. "No fucking shit."

"Fine by me." He shrugged. "Just know that it's not going to be a perfect little Uzumaki Karin clone. It's got Hozuki in there. More importantly, it's got half of _me_ in there.

I don't think the world is ready for that. It can barely handle us as separate entities and now you want to give the world the combined fucked-upness of both of us?"

"Well the world is going to have to suck it up." Karin snapped with a threatening wave of her fist.

"Hey!" Suigetsu raised his hands in defense. "I don't have a problem with it!"

"Good."

"Besides, after this one I think it's a safe bet we are going to need five more." Suigetsu commented casually. Both Jugo and Karin turned their heads toward them.

"Why?" Jugo frowned.

"Uh, there are _seven_ swordsmen, fuckheads." Suigetsu shook his head at their apparent stupidity.

"You think I'm going to have another kid with you?" Karin sneered. "We aren't even done with this first one and you want more!"  
>"Shit Karin, it happened once, I'm pretty sure we can fuck this up again. We are pretty good a fucking things up." Suigetsu smirked as he dodged Karin's fist this time.<p>

Jugo still hadn't moved past the reason for the six children. "You want to remake the seven swordsmen with strictly your children?"

"I don't see why that is crazy."

"It'll be you and a bunch of kids." Karin deadpanned.

"So you're coming around to the idea, huh?" Suigetsu smirked.

"I wish you were dead." Karin groaned.

"What if they are girls?" Jugo asked, still stuck on this swordsmen idea. "They wouldn't really be swords_men_ would they?"

"That's a good point." Suigetsu frowned thinking deeply. "I guess since I'll be the head of the new swordsmen I can change the name to be less gender specific."

"I changed my mind." Karin muttered to herself as Jugo and Suigetsu still talked about the logistics of the new Hozuki seven swordsmen. "I'm going to kill you both."

Together the three members of taka made their way to their campsite. Karin wondering why she had to fuck things up and, well, fuck Suigetsu. Suigetsu still was stuck imagining his little army of Hozuki swordsmen. Jugo, also on the same thought was thinking of Suigetsu surrounded by a bunch of babies with swords and was really beginning to question if Suigetsu should have any part of this future child's life.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed the second installment of Bad Parenting. The first couple of these chapters will be about the pregnancy then it will move into the actual Suika baby :D <strong>

**Thanks for reading and please review! Until next time.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"Alright, we'll meet here in a couple of hours." Karin reminded the two wearily. Karin was in her tenth week of pregnancy and it was beginning to show. Suigetsu felt uneasy about the whole thing but kept his mouth shut, Karin was extra sensitive about anything said about her or the baby recently. "Just try not to do anything shitty while I'm gone." She sighed, narrowing her eyes at Suigetsu specifically. Okay, he mentions <em>one little<em> thing about her size and she hasn't let it go! Geez.

"Just go do whatever shit you have to do." Suigetsu waved her off grumpily. Karin walked off with a final warning glare to the two boys and Suigetsu turned to Jugo awkwardly. "What do you want to do?" He scratched behind his head looking around the dinky town they had stopped in for the day.

"There is a bookstore down the street." Jugo pointed out. Jugo always wanted to see what books were inside the bookstore but being a rouge ninja never really gave him the opportunity, especially under Orochimaru and Sasuke. There was simply never enough time to stop for such frivolous things. He knew how to read, he just never had the pleasure to do so for leisure.

Suigetsu, whose mind had taken a more explicit route, grinned. "Jugo, you sick bastard!" Suigetsu bounced toward the store with Jugo in tow. "I didn't know you had it in you." He glanced back at Jugo. "Really, I pretty much thought you were oblivious to the whole concept."

Jugo followed along, not willing to correct Suigetsu. If he didn't, the swordsman might change his mind about going to the bookstore. Jugo was willing to play the façade if it meant going to the bookstore. Plus, while there it would keep Suigetsu occupied while he explored the variety of books.

They walked toward it, both thinking about the wonders inside the facility. Both men walked in and casted a glance towards one another, unsure where to begin.

"So where do you think they are?" Suigetsu whispered secretively as he glanced around the store with leering eyes.

An idea stuck Jugo and he smirked to himself. "Oh, I don't know." He murmured. "Perhaps, in the nature section." Jugo lied, knowing that they were probably not going to be there.

Suigetsu frowned in doubt. "I don't know about that."

"Coitus is an important part of nature." Jugo justified as he led Suigetsu toward the environment and nature section. Jugo really just wanted to look at the classification journals. Suigetsu shrugged and followed Jugo. Suigetsu was more of a man of action rather than a man of literature.

Once in the designated section the two split up and scanned the isle. Jugo grinned upon finding one that perked his interest while Suigetsu drifted further away continuing to look for the explicit content.

About ten minutes in, Jugo had found a variety of books about the different birds, classified by each region and the natural flora of each country. Suigetsu on the other hand hadn't found a single book about his _subject of interest_ and was growing frustrated.

"Are you finding anything?" Suigetsu called from five rows down.

"Not yet." Jugo murmured. "Keep looking."

"Wait!" Suigetsu exclaimed. "Come here! I found something!"

Jugo groaned, wondering if he could pretend not to hear Suigetsu, but if he went that route Suigetsu would keep yelling and probably get them kicked out of the store. So grabbing the most interesting of the books he found, he made his way over to where Suigetsu was seated.

Jugo was expecting to see Suigetsu emerged in explicit magazines and erotic literature. Much rather, Jugo found Suigetsu knees deep in parenting and childbirth books. He was seated in the isle, his back against one of the bookshelves as he scanned though one of the books, his face scrunched in either disgusted or interest. It was hard to tell which.

Jugo sat beside Suigetsu, his own books in his lap. Together they silently read, every now and then, one of them making a noise of either interest or surprise. This lasted a good half hour before Suigetsu made an awful sound.

"Oh lord." Suigetsu made a sound that was a cross between a cough and a choking sound.

Jugo eyed Suigetsu curiously. "What?"

"We have to make Karin get an abortion." Suigetsu closed the book and tossed it down the aisle. "I know she is a ninja and is tough and all, but no human being deserves to go through that."

Jugo's eyes widened in fear. "What happens?"

Suigetsu shook his head, trying to move past what he had just read. "Unspeakable things, man."

"I wish to know." Jugo pressed.

With a sigh, Suigetsu swallowed the bile collecting in his throat. "Babies are like really big when they come out, you know."

"I imagine so." Jugo nodded his head.

"The place they come out of is…sometimes too small." Suigetsu cringed as he spoke.

"Meaning?" Jugo asked cautiously.

Suigetsu didn't speak for a long moment as he shook his head, trying to get the image out of it. "It rips, man. It can rip."

Jugo stared at Suigetsu for a long moment, clearly horrified with what he was just told. "Rip?"

Suigetsu nodded his head. "Some doctors don't even wait for that to happen and just cut it."

Jugo shivered with disgust. "Are you sure that happens?"  
>"It's what the book says." Suigetsu remarked as he casted a distrustful glance towards the discarded book at the end of the row. "And child birth can take like twenty hours."<p>

"It rips for twenty hours?" Jugo flinched with dread filling his stomach. No human needed that.

"I don't know man. All I know is that babies are monsters." Suigetsu shook his head as he grabbed another book. He began to flip through it with Jugo reading over his shoulder, both deeply invested in finding out more on the subject of children and child birth since they each knew nothing about the subject.

"It'll fit right in." Jugo nodded his head thinking about another odd monster joining their trio.

"Oh, fuck." Suigetsu groaned as he pointed at the page describing the symptoms of pregnancy. "Karin is going to be even more annoying as fuck. I thought she was just pissed about what I said, but _apparently_ she gets fucking excused for it. Unbelievable." He muttered distastefully.

"…frequent urination…does that mean we are going to have to make more bathroom breaks?" Jugo frowned.

"It means our life is going to be hell." Suigetsu muttered as he slammed the book shut.

"What about this one." Jugo reached for one of the books in Suigetsu's pile. "The First Year."

The two began to flip through the book describing the first year of a child's life. Both of them were so immersed into the book that they didn't even notice the time slip away and they were running late to meet back with Karin.

"Shit, Jugo! Hurry up!" Suigetsu yelped as they grabbed their books and raced through the store.

"Suigetsu, we have to pay!" Jugo caught up to Suigetsu.

Suigetsu half considered stealing the books, but did he really want the theft of parenting books on his list of impressive crimes? "Oh fuck, fine." Suigetsu snapped as the two fell into the line. They waited a few minutes before an old woman cashier waved them over with a jolly smile on her face.

"Did you find everything you were looking for?" She asked cheerfully as Suigetsu and Jugo set their books on the counter.

Suigetsu ignored the woman and looked anywhere but his embarrassing purchases.

"It was lovely." Jugo remarked, pleased with the entire experience. They learned something about babies and Jugo got bird catalog books. Win, win.

"Good!" The clerk grinned as she examined the books they had set down. "Oh, are you two having a child?" She smiled, trying to connect the dots.

Suigetsu blushed a bright red on his pale cheeks. Jugo smiled. "Yes, we are."

"N-No, we aren't!" Suigetsu exclaimed giving Jugo a look that said _'what the fuck, man?'_ "I am! Just me. And a girl. A hot girl. We are having a baby. Together. Not me and him." Suigetsu desperately tried to clear up. "He is just a bro…friend. A bro-friend! Shit, not a boyfriend. I like girls. I had sex with a girl. She is pregnant. That's why I need this book. Not him." Suigetsu turned away embarrassed.

"Oh, my bad." The clerk waved him off smiling. "Anything else you need for today?"

Suigetsu grabbed the bag with his books wordlessly and walked off. Jugo smiled and bid her a goodbye and took his own bag and walked after this friend.

"Are you okay?" Jugo caught up to Suigetsu. "You seem a little tense."

Suigetsu narrowed his eyes at Jugo. "I'm fine." He hissed mortified by the experience.

Together the two of them quickly walked back to their meeting spot. They were now twenty minutes late to meeting Karin at the entrance of the town. Suigetsu hoped Karin got held up somehow. Jugo didn't mind one way or another. Karin would ultimately blame Suigetsu for their tardiness. Another win for him.

"What took you so long?" Karin snapped upon seeing the two of them. Her hands were resting on her hips and by her feet were two bags of supplies for the next week or two. Upon noticing the bags in each of the boys' hands, Karin raised a fine eyebrow. "What's that?"

"Boo-"

"Porn." Suigetsu instantly cut Jugo off. "Hand core pornography. Some sick shit too."

Karin made a face of revulsion. "You got to be fucking kidding me."

"Nope. I think Jugo got some bdsm stuff, if you're interested." Suigetsu smirked before he met one of Karin's powerful fists hitting his head.

Karin and Jugo walked off while Suigetsu's head manifested in the background. Karin eyed Jugo with mistrust. "You guys seriously bought porn?"

Jugo thought for a moment. He could either stand up for Suigetsu and go along with it to keep Suigetsu's supposed manhood intact and have Karin assume he was a pervert, or he could side with Karin and tell her the truth, reveal Suigetsu's purchases and have Suigetsu hate him for the next couple of weeks while Karin ridicules them both. Jugo chose the first option. "Of course."

Karin shook her head, not interested in going deeper into the topic of their purchases. "Disgusting."

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><p><strong>Hey! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. <strong>

**So, I know I mentioned that the Suika baby would be coming in the next chapter or so, but _change of plans. _It will come I PROMISE, but I have a few more short stories about the pregnancy era that'd I'd like to add first. I hope you all are okay with it! Sorry!  
><strong>

**Anyways, thank you all for reading and reviewing! See you next time :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Once again, Jugo, Karin, and Suigetsu found themselves in another doctor's office in a different village. This time they were there to find out the gender of their accident child and for another general checkup. The three taka members were currently looking at the jumbled mess on the screen as the doctor examined the image from the ultrasound.<p>

"So that's the baby?" Suigetsu sneered.

"Amazing, isn't it?" The doctor exclaimed in an airy voice.

"That doesn't look like a person." Jugo muttered, squinting his eyes in hopes to see the image of a baby. He didn't. It was just splotches of grey and white. It looked more like an alien than a baby.

"I told you it was a monster." Suigetsu whispered secretively to Jugo.

Karin shifted her eyes to Suigetsu menacingly. "Call it a monster one more time." Karin snapped lowly. Over the past couple of weeks, that was continuously how Suigetsu would descript it and she was quite frankly getting sick of it.

Suigetsu snapped his mouth shut instantly, not wanting to face Karin's wrath _again _while Jugo grinned at his friend's reprimand. Fights between Karin and Suigetsu were happening at an almost constant level and it never got old. As long as Jugo was left out of it, he would enjoy from afar. At this point, it didn't look like Suigetsu was going to make it out alive by the time the baby was born and now that Jugo thought about it, it was probably what Karin wanted all along.

"And, it is a boy!" The doctor chirped. The three taka members' eyes went back to the screen in awe. Each one of them instantly searched for the physical identification of gender.

"How can you tell?" Karin asked curiously, looking for signs of a boy.

The doctor smiled kindly. "See this," The doctor pointed to the center of the screen. "We call that the turtle sign, in actuality that is the male genitalia."

Jugo began to chuckle lowly. "I didn't know Hozuki males genitalia looked like turtles." Jugo jabbed Suigetsu sharply.

Suigetsu snarled. "That's _not_ Hozuki. Trust me." Suigetsu flashed his eyes at Karin. "That's all Uzumaki, fucking weird things done there, bud." Suigetsu warned Jugo.

Karin raised her eye brows threateningly. "Do you really want to go there?"

Suigetsu held her gaze for a solid minute before dropping it. "Whatever, are we done here?"

"Oh yes." The doctor nodded her head. "Of course. Let's just clean you up and we'll have you on your way."

"Perfect." Suigetsu strolled out of the room without waiting for Karin to be cleaned off and allowed to leave. "See you later."

Karin rolled her eyes. "What's his problem?"

Jugo shrugged. "He doesn't want to admit his turtle penis, I think."

Karin smirked. "You think it's Hozuki?"

Jugo nodded his head quickly. "Oh definitely."

Karin and Jugo high fived and the doctor shook her head to herself. She didn't really have the heart to tell them that it was just want they called all ultrasound images of penises. She quite frankly wanted them gone…they already make so much of a mess in the reception area. They still had one of the nurses cleaning up all the water from the swordsman.

Suigetsu stomped down the hallways. He needed a breather. He was going to have a kid. A little boy to be exact, but still. He was going to have a legacy, a son. The idea was still too hard for Suigetsu to wrap his head around and part of him didn't want to. The fact that he was going to be a father was terrifying.

Suigetsu leaned against the receptionist's desk as he waited for Karin and Jugo to finish up. They were getting close to one of the possible sword locations and he was getting anxious. Besides the fact that he was going to have a kid, he still had six other swords to claim.

"Are you the daddy?" The receptionist asked with a hesitant poke on Suigetsu's arm to get his attention.

Suigetsu looked down that the receptionist and slowly nodded his head. "Yeah." He grunted after a length pause.

She smiled and grabbed a small envelope from her tray. "Then these are the pictures from the ultrasound, most people want the images for memory and such."

Suigetsu nodded his head in thanks and skeptically opened the envelope. He reached inside and pulled out two identical photos of the…no, his baby's ultrasound. He stared down at the picture in his head and couldn't help but feel a small smile form on his face. He was really going to be a father. His son is going to be so kick ass. Fuck Jugo, this definitely looked like a Hozuki baby with Uzumaki genitals. Not a fucking monster, no. This kid is going to be the greatest fucking ninja of next generation, just like Suigetsu.

Upon hearing the low mutters of Karin and Jugo, Suigetsu quickly tucked the one photo safely in his pocket while sealing the other photo in the envelope. Jugo and Karin didn't need to know he had it.

"What's that?' Karin frowned as she gestured to the envelope in his hands.

"Ultrasound shit." Suigetsu tossed it to her in an uncaring manner. "Come on, we have a sword to hunt down." He turned and gave Karin a warning glare. "Just because you are knocked up, doesn't mean you get to slow us down."

Karin bit her tongue so she didn't cause yet another scene in the receptionist area. "Alright." She hissed through clenched teeth, clutching the envelope tightly in her hand.

Jugo, coming to both of their rescue so they didn't continue down the dangerous, but familiar path they were heading, said, "Let's go back to camp and collect our things."

Suigetsu shrugged and led the way while Karin followed behind seething and Jugo remained far back to need be hit by the violent outburst that was sure to come.

When they got to camp, Karin instantly began to pack her things so Suigetsu didn't have room to begin bitching but he stopped her.

"We'll rest here for the night, and then continue tomorrow." He rolled his eyes.

"Fine." She huffed, dropping her things and grabbed their water bottles. "I'll get water." She left no room for Suigetsu to intervene and left.

Jugo and Suigetsu stared at each other. "I'll go too." Jugo muttered.

Suigetsu waved Jugo off and sat down. He reached for his bag and began to rummage through it, looking for a particular scroll. He soon found the one in mind and pulled it out. He opened it up to examine it.

It was a list of the previous seven swordsmen with each of their respective swords. He traced each name of the previous swordsmen until he got to his brother Mangetsu. Mangetsu had mastered all seven swords and was the owner of the Hiramekarei, the Twin Blade, the last sword he mastered. Unfortunately, that sword was now in possession of the new Mist Kage Chojuro and it was probably going to be one of the hardest to get back.

The sword they were currently after is the Nuibari, the Sewing Needle. It was previously owned by Kushimaru Kuriarare. Suigetsu remembered him fondly as a cruel man, just like all the previous swordsmen.

With a sly grin, Suigetsu dug into his pocket and pulled out the ultrasound photo and stuck it over Kuriarare's name. His first son would be the new owner of the Hiramekarei, the first sword his brother Mangetsu master, and the first sword that Suigetsu would reclaim, excusing his Kubikiribocho, the Executioner's Blade.

"Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me." Karin groaned over Suigetsu's shoulder.

Suigetsu whipped around, red in the cheeks as he faced Karin. "What the fuck are you doing here? Where is the water?"

"Jugo has it." Karin rolled her eyes. "I can't fucking believe you are seriously going to rebuild the seven swordsmen with your children, you fucking lunatic."

Before Suigetsu could utter a retort, Suigetsu felt a presence behind him.

"Oh, you do have a heart." Jugo recalled from behind Suigetsu.

Suigetsu nearly jumped out of his skin, clutching the scroll close to his chest. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Jugo grinned with Karin. "You kept the ultrasound, which means you care."

Suigetsu weakly snapped. "I'm fucking heartless."

This went to deaf ears and Karin and Jugo shared yet around high five as Suigetsu's expense.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed this little segment. Honestly, I had to do a bit of research on each of the swords and forgot how much I love my swordsmen (especially Kisame!)<strong>

**Anyways, thanks for reading and please review (and if you want, tell me your favorite swordsman!)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

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><p>For once, in a very long time, there was silence, absolute silence. Today, Suigetsu had been set to the random nearby village for food and rations while Karin and Jugo basked in the benefits of no Suigetsu.<p>

For once they had the ability to relax without their loudmouth swordsman jabbering and demanding their attention. Karin and Jugo had the ability to focus on themselves for once, a little 'me-time'. Do whatever was on their minds. Jugo could read those catalogues he bought and Karin could examine these scrolls she had picked up from the market. It was perfect because there was no Suigetsu.

So that's what they did. Both absorbed themselves in their literary material and finally _relaxed_.

While they enjoyed the peace and quiet for a long while, the silence slowly became deafening. It didn't happen instantly, it took them a while to notice. It started off with just an uncomfortable itch, but it soon grew into an unbearable strangle. An uncomfortable aura drifted into the camp and Jugo and Karin fidgeted uncomfortable in the silence.

The cause? Suigetsu. Jugo and Karin had long gotten used to the nonstop talking and nonsensical ramblings from their swordsman that silence was unfamiliar. Neither of them were used to the silence and oddly enough, found themselves missing their water boy. They both sadly realized that they needed him at least for background noise, if not company.

Unfortunately, he would not be back for at least two hours and they had only been without him for twenty minutes. Both Karin and Jugo remained silent throughout all of this. Both trying to immerse themselves in their books.

Jugo was the first to crack and unexpectedly so. During his time with Orochimaru, he had been alone in that cell. He had the occasional visit from Kabuto, but never anything longer than an hour. He was used to the solitude, but now that he thought of it, never the silence. There was always someone in the cells around him murmuring and stuttering nonsense. Even himself did so during his rages.

Jugo glanced up at Karin. She was reading her scrolls but her shoulders were stiff and her hands were tight on the scroll. She wasn't dealing with the silence as well.

"What are you reading?" Jugo broke the silence. He couldn't say he was even interested in hearing her answer so much as he was eager to break the silent nauseating spell.

Karin looked up, surprised to see Jugo breaking the unusual silence. "Just a few scrolls I got from that market the other day."

"What are they about?" Jugo spat out quickly.

At this, Karin refused to meet Jugo's eyes. "Nothing."

Jugo wasn't great at reading people, but even he wasn't that obtuse to not notice something was up with Karin. "Are you okay?"

Karin rolled up the scroll. "I'm fine." She stated strongly, with the implied tone that Jugo should stop pestering.

Jugo nodded his head solemnly. If Karin wanted him to stop prying, he would. He and Karin had a healthy relation, unlike her and Suigetsu. He wasn't about to mess that up just to stop the silence.

Karin, on the other head, watched Jugo over the tip of her scroll. She felt a little guilty. She knew Jugo meant no harm and honestly, she was glad he initiated the conversation because the silence over the camp was driving her insane too. She was just…embarrassed about the subject of the scrolls.

With a heavy sigh, Karin gathered Jugo's attention. "Promise you won't tell Water Boy about any of this?" She gestured to the scrolls.

Jugo quickly nodded his head, putting his book down. Anything to stop this silence. "Of course." Plus, he rather remained in Karin's good books.

Karin awkwardly tossed Jugo one of the scrolls. "They're Lamaze text scrolls."

Jugo's orange eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Lamaze?"  
>"It's basically labor prep material. There are poses, breathing techniques, and ways to cope with pain." She muttered.<p>

"Oh." Jugo fell silent as he gazed over the material. He could see why Karin would want to keep this a secret from Suigetsu. While in Jugo's mind it seemed completely normal for Karin to prepare her, Suigetsu could take anything that Karin and Jugo did and turn it into something humorous and embarrassing for them.

"Just don't tell him." Karin hissed lowly as Jugo tossed back the scroll.

Jugo nodded his head and silence fell over them again. Karin regained her composer but it was instantly broken as Jugo spoke. "Do you need any help?"

"W-What?!" Karin exclaimed.  
>"Do you require help?" Jugo asked again, unfazed by Karin's apparent horror. "They seem rather complicated for you to attempt on your own."<p>

Karin looked at the scroll in distain. "It recommends having their partner help."

Jugo stood up and walked to Karin. "It is decided then."

"Don't tell Suigetsu." Karin warned again and Jugo nodded his head and he kneeled beside Karin and they looked over the first set of instructions.

Two hours had passed and Suigetsu walked back to their camp. He bit his lip in worry. Did he buy everything Karin wanted him too? Did he forget anything? Ugh, he could feel it, he forgot something, but damn it, he couldn't remember what he forgotten- go figure. Karin refused to make him a shopping list, telling him that he had to rely on his memory. Whatever, Suigetsu shrugged to himself. It's her fault if he forgot something. Besides, he remembered most of the important stuff, hopefully.

All the worrying about the shopping list did not prepare him for the sight before him when he stepped into the clearing where their camp was set up. Hell, the idea of missing items from the list flew out of his head the moment he walked into the camp.

Karin was squatting, knees pointing out and to the side. Her face was scrunched in a pain filled expression. Jugo was also in a squatting position, facing Karin and keeping her steady. Jugo's face held a tight, manic looking smile that might not have been intentional (but it was really hard to say). Both were breathing at an intentionally odd rhythm with exaggerate lip movement.

Neither of them seemed to notice Suigetsu so he stood there and watched for a long time, not giving away his presence. They proceeded to do this for about five minutes before both moved out of the position. Karin fell and laid on her back while Jugo sat before her.

"So, is this what you guys do every time I'm gone?" Suigetsu asked, revealing his presence to his companions.

Jugo located Suigetsu while Karin just paled and closed her eyes upon recognizing the voice.

Suigetsu continued. "I mean, I'm not jealous or anything, more curious." Suigetsu sat beside Karin. "Is this your kink or Jugo's?"

Karin glared up at Suigetsu's grinning away. "Excuse me?"

"Well, if it's yours, I guess I'd be willing to try it. You don't have to settle for the big guy when the perfect specimen of man is here. Though, if it's Jugo, you really shouldn't tease him that way." Suigetsu explained with a deep smirk.

Karin sat up, fixing Suigetsu with a dark look. "It. Is. Lamaze. You. Fuck. Brain." Karin spat each word out at him.

Suigetsu turned and looked at Jugo who was sorting through their rations Suigetsu bought. "What the fuck is Lamaze?"

"Birth preparation." Jugo summed up. "Where is the produce?"

"In the third bag…yeah that one." Suigetsu turned to Karin. "Birth prep?"

"It's going to happen, might as well be prepared." Karin stood up and went to exam the rations with Jugo.

"Why'd you ask Jugo?" Suigetsu watched with a small annoyance building up in him. It was _his_ baby in the red head, _not_ _Jugo's_.

"I needed someone helpful." Karin snapped as she sensed another fight between her and the fish boy coming.

"I'm helpful." Suigetsu muttered, letting the argument evaporate. Whatever, she wanted Jugo's help, fine. It looked dumb anyways. Besides, Suigetsu had more important jobs to be doing. Jugo could be the midwife all he wanted.

Suigetsu's thoughts were interrupted by a strong hand landing on his shoulder. Jugo sat beside Suigetsu. "You would have made fun of the whole thing, you know. Then probably get in another fight. Maybe even a physical altercation."

Suigetsu rolled his eyes. "Someone in this fucked up group has to be the funny one."

Jugo and Suigetsu fell silent for a couple of minutes while Karin continued to catalog their rations. Minutes passed before Jugo whispered low enough so only Suigetsu could hear. "Are you jealous?"

Jugo watched in mild amusement as Suigetsu rapidly stood up and left the clearing, without a word. Karin shook her head at dismay, oblivious to the small exchange that had occurred.

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><p><strong>Hello! Sorry for taking so long with this chapter. It's not my best or more exciting chapter, but I hope you still enjoy it. <strong>

**I have actually been working on my own original work. It's a story that I have wanted to tell for a long time. I hope to one day get it published. zit's something that really means a lot to _me_ but I am sorry that I have neglected my works on this website. **

**Anyways, thank you all so much for continuing to read and follow this story. It means more than you know. I love you all! Until next time (which will hopefully be sooner rather than later).**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

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><p>Suigetsu was frustrated to say the least. It wasn't like anything big had happened, just a bunch of little things that have been piling up, eating away at his already thin layer of sanity.<p>

Travel had been slow lately and no progress had been made on finding any of the swords. Right now, they were following a lead that Jugo had picked up at one of the town centers a few days back. They were heading to check it out now but were traveling at a much slower pace than Suigetsu would have liked.

Usually, their team blazed through the trees, like lightning. Granted, none of them specialized in speed but they usually kept up a pretty good speed. Now though, things had been taken down a notch. More breaks were needed because Karin's feet swelled too much or because she was getting tired more quickly. Jugo, sympathetic to Karin's _condition,_ made them take longer breaks to make sure Karin was ready to continue.

At first, Suigetsu remained silent. It wasn't his call on the breaks and he honestly didn't want to push Karin too much. She was with his…kid…after all, but as breaks became more frequent and lasted longer, Suigetsu really began to feel his small amount of patience fade.

"Stop!" Karin called out to Suigetsu and Jugo from her positon in the back of their group. "I need another rest." She winced slightly as she said this.

"Another?" Suigetsu gritted through his teeth. Before he could say anything else, Jugo flashed him a warning look and Suigetsu rolled his eyes.

"Unfortunately." Karin muttered. She hated this probably just as much, if not more, than Suigetsu. The last thing Karin wanted was to be perceived as weak and be a burden to the team but the constant cramps were killing her and she needed a small breather.

"Mmm." Suigetsu hummed unimpressed.

"What is it this time?" Jugo asked innocently.

Karin cringed at the 'this time' but sighed and answered nevertheless. "Cramps." She muttered as she closed her eyes and leaned against the nearby tree.

Suigetsu grumbled mutely to himself as he stared at Karin's growing stomach. It wasn't even like he could completely blame Karin for their pace. Suigetsu did that. He got Karin pregnant. Fucking hell.

Suigetsu continued to glare when he suddenly noticed an ever so slight movement in Karin's stomach. Like something was moving against the skin, roughly the size of a golf ball. Suigetsu blinked and convinced himself it was just the light and his frustrations that were making him see things. But not even half way through that sorry excuse did Suigetsu see it again. Suigetsu sprang up and raced up to Karin, before kneeling and examining her stomach closer. His face inches from her abdomen.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Karin attempted to move away from Suigetsu but alas found herself still back to back with the tree. She attempted to push his head away by force but he caught her hand and just held it in place as he continued to examine the sight before him.

"Did..." Suigetsu hesitated. He wasn't really sure how to describe what he was seeing. "Your stomach..."

Karin's eyebrow twitched in irritation as she ripped her hands from his grip. "If you are going to comment on my size one more time-"

Suigetsu quickly realized her assumption and began to correct himself. "No!" He raised his hands in defense. "I mean, yeah, you are basically a whale now," Karin's frown deepened as the Water Boy continued. "But, uh, your stomach is...moving?"

Karin raised a fine eyebrow at him. "It does that."

Suigetsu's face contorted into an expression of disgust. "Normally?"

Karin closed her eyes and breathed through her nose. One of the pregnancy scrolls theorized that stress has negative effects on the baby. "No, the baby is just kicking."

Jugo's head perked up with interest. "He is kicking you?"

"Yeah." Karin shrugged, she always assumed this information was common sense but Karin had learned a long time ago that the two remaining males on her team didn't really have much, if any, common sense.

"Do babies normally do that or is ours just weird?" Suigetsu asked skeptically.

Karin clenched her jaw. "No, they normally do that."

"I don't see why it can't be both answers." Jugo murmured. Both Karin and Suigetsu chose to ignore that.

"How long has it been doing that?" Suigetsu asked almost with a hint of concern. Almost.

"I don't know a couple of months." Karin shifted indifferently.

Jugo's frown deepened. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"It...It just wasn't a big deal. That's just what they do." Karin explained. Which was true, she honestly didn't see it as such a big deal. Besides, she didn't even think her team mates would have been this interested. One was a maniac obsessed with cutting things and the other was either docile and quiet or crazed and rampaging.

Silence settled over the three for a moment before Suigetsu shifted his stance and spoke.

"What did you do to piss it off?" Suigetsu asked, oddly fascinated by the whole thing.

"I didn't do anything." Karin hissed lowly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Are you really that sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you really, _really_, sure?"

"_Yes_."

"Can I touch it?"

Karin's ceased her frowned and paused at Suigetsu's question. It wasn't that it was inappropriate or outlandish, it was just odd hearing Suigetsu ask that type of question. Suigetsu usually just never asks for permission.

"Um, I guess...yeah." Karin coughed awkwardly.

Suigetsu wasted no time and pulled Karin's shirt up, nearly flashing Jugo in the process. Suigetsu that pressed his palm gently and spread out his fingers on Karin's stomach. Jugo and Karin observed highly interested while Suigetsu stared at the stomach intensely.

Karin felt a small kick and watch Suigetsu closely.

Suigetsu flinched, pulling his hand away with a look of astonishment in his pale face. He stared at his hand in wonder for a few moments. He whipped his head up to look at Karin. "Make him do that again."

"I can't make him do-" But she was cut off as Suigetsu laid his hand on her stomach again.

Silence rang through the three of them as they waited for the baby to kick again. As odd as it was, the tension was suffocating for Karin, especially with the way Suigetsu was staring intensely at her stomach. Finally the baby kicked again and Suigetsu's face split into a grin.

"He did it again!" Suigetsu yelped. This time, instead of his hand, Suigetsu pressed his cheek against Karin's stomach. It almost instantly felt the kick and Suigetsu looked like he was about to burst with excitement.

"That's so _metal_!" Suigetsu exclaimed. "Jugo, you _have_ to try this!"

Suigetsu moved aside to allow Jugo room to keel before Karin. Jugo, hesitantly, pushed his hand on Karin's stomach. After a few moments, Jugo felt the kick and stared at Suigetsu. "That was…"

"_Metal_." Suigetsu filled in.

Jugo nodded his head slowly. "Metal, indeed."

With a heavy sigh, Karin spoke. "Are you two done? I'm ready to keep going."

Suigetsu, seeming to remember what they were doing before the kicking baby, nodded his head, eyes filling with determination to find those swords. "Oh, yeah. Let's go." Suigetsu stood up along with Jugo.

The three of them began to continue on their way to their lead. After ten minutes or so of silent travel, Suigetsu fell back to be in sync with Karin.

"Did you feel how strong that kick was?" He asked with a touch of excitement in his voice. "Our baby is going to be the greatest ninja, even better than Sasuke _or_ me!"

"Uh-huh." Karin agreed in a grunt as the boy beside her gushed over the baby's kicks.

"That _technique_ though." Suigetsu sighed. "That's all me, _obviously_."

Karin was hesitant to dispute Suigetsu's nonsensical ramblings but decided against it and let the swordsman have his moment.

"Most definitely."

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><p><strong><em>Here<em> is chapter six! **

**Sorry for the long wait, I haven't forgotten about this story or anything. Just school starting up again and my personal writing...**

**Anyways, only a few more pre-birth chapters and then we will get to the real prize: _the baby_. **

**If any of you have any suggestions for names (its a boy remember), please let me know, otherwise thanks for reading and review.**

**See you next time! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **

**Enjoy.**

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><p>Jugo hummed happily to himself as he strolled peacefully back into their makeshift camp. He had managed to get away from the other two taka members for a few hours to go shopping.<p>

Ever since Karin got pregnant, Jugo had been making a mental list of supplies they would need for the baby. He had a storage scroll he was filling full of baby supplies. Karin and Suigetsu had no idea Jugo was doing this and he planned on keeping it a surprise. It was going to be a baby gift! Jugo was excited.

Today, Jugo bought clothing and he was very much satisfied with the choices. He bought coats and pants, shoes and shirts, and everything else the little addition to their team might need. Jugo was surprised to find out how much he enjoyed buying the baby clothing. All of it was so small, even smaller next to Jugo and they were often adorned with fuzzy little animals which only made it more appealing to animal lover Jugo.

His favorite purchases of the day were three animal onesies. He bought one to symbolize each member of the team. The one that symbolized Jugo was a yellow and green bird. Each arm had emerald green and golden tipped feathered wings. A large bright yellow beak rested on the tip of the hood and would rest on the forehead of the baby. It also had a cute green tail feather and a poufy crest feathers on the top of its head along with two button eyes.

The one that was supposed to symbolize Karin was a cute little brown deer. The top of the hood had two little ears and the bottom had a puffy little tail. Small little white spots were scattered on the back and the tummy of the onesie was a darker, fuzzy, soft brown.

The last onesie capture Suigetsu's essence perfectly, in the sense that it was a shark onesie. It had a floppy tail and floppy fin arms. It even had a cute little dorsal fin on the back. As for the hood, felt teeth hung from the rim of the hood and two charcoal eyes were on either side of the hood. It was supposed to look like the baby was being eaten by the shark onesie and he knew that Suigetsu would love it, regardless if he showed it or not.

So Jugo was in bliss. He had gotten nearly everything on his mental list over the past couple months and the baby was right around the corner. Everything was perfect. Heck, even Karin and Suigetsu seemed to be getting alone. Or, at least, they put their differences aside for the time being. Either way, everything was peaceful.

Or so Jugo thought. Those thoughts were shattered upon walking into their camp. Karin and Suigetsu were sitting face to face, both with determined scowls on their faces.

"I am _not_ calling him that!" Suigetsu yelped with a sharp snap.

"You're idea isn't any fucking better." Karin spat out roughly. "Plus, I'm the mom, I get to decide."

"Oh no! That's not how that works!" Suigetsu hissed menacingly.

"Do you dare defy me?" Karin growled.

"No fucking shit, Karin!" Suigetsu snarled lowly. "Besides, I'll just name it after you pass out and there is nothing you can do about it." Suigetsu smirked smugly.

Karin's face darkened. "You do that, and I kill you." She whispered lowly. "And you know I will."

Jugo sat down between them silently and watched. Suigetsu took no time and addressing Jugo.

"You know what this crazy bitch wants to name our baby?" Suigetsu asked horrified. "Sasuke II. She wants to fucking name our baby after an asshole who ditched us. Sasuke fucking II!"

"He didn't ditch us! He had to be alone for a while." Karin instantly corrected, defending their absent taka memeber.

"Oh yeah, sure he didn't!" Suigetsu rolled his eyes dramatically. "That's why he is back in Konoha shacking it up with that pink haired girl from this old team, because he _really_ needs to be _alone_."

Karin's face took the image of horror. "You take that back!"

Suigetsu smirked evilly. "Can't take back what is true." At this, Karin punched Suigetsu's face with ten times the usual amount of force. His head splashed away and Karin took this moment to address Jugo.

"You want to know what _he_ wants to name the baby?" Karin asked, but without waiting, answered. "Shonoken." Karin spat out the name.

Jugo turned to Suigetsu with a concerned look. Suigetsu's head had rematerialized. "_Death sword_?"

"What's so wrong with that?" Suigetsu shrugged. "It's got a nice ring to it. It's better than fucking _Sasuke II_."

"That's debatable." Karin snorted. Karin turned her gaze to Jugo. "Which is better?" She crossed her arms antagonistically. "Sasuke II or Shonoken?"

Jugo looked between Karin and Suigetsu for a long moment. "Shonoken."

"Ha! Take that, Sasuke-Obsessed Idiot!" Suigetsu gloated but his ego was instantly deflated with Jugo's next words.

"Shonoken is also stupid." Jugo just bought adorable baby clothes. That baby was going to have an equally cute name.

"Fine, what do you think he should be called?" Karin huffed.

"Tobutori." Jugo replied with ease.

Karin and Suigetsu shared a look before replying together. "Hell no."

Jugo frowned. "Why not? It's better than both of yours."

"My child is not a _flying bird_."

"If anything, he is a…" Suigetsu's eyes widened with delight. "Akasame!"

"Really?" Karin groaned.

"What? It hits all our main points!" Suigetsu pointed to Jugo. "Animals, done." He pointed to his teeth. "Sharks, check." He then delicately picked up a lock of Karin's head. "Red, perfect." He clapped his hands together and raised them into the air in success.

"The only quality he is going to get from his mother is _red_?" Karin seethed. "I don't think so." She muttered before sarcastically saying, "Why don't we just call him Toritsukare-kureijī-baka?" Literally meaning _Obsessed-Crazy-Idiot_. "There, it hits all our fine points."

Suigetsu frowned. "Nah, too long. Although that wasn't nice calling Jugo an idiot."

Karin sneered. "I was calling you an idiot."

Suigetsu smirked unaffected by her words. "At least you admit that you are _so_ obsessed with Sasuke."

"_I'm not obsessed!"_ Karin screeched. After a few deep breathes, she calmed. "I'm just affectionate towards him."

Before Suigetsu could whip back another remark, Jugo fell back holding his head. "We are going to kill Tobutori!"

"Bro," Suigetsu looked half hurt. "I thought we already told you, we aren't naming our kid Flying Bird."

Jugo stared at Suigetsu and defeated replied. "What does it even matter? Call him Shonoken or Akasame or Sasuke II or Watermelon Demon or Heizu or Kuraudo or Dobe or any other stupid name. It won't matter because he will die on the first day."

Suigetsu and Karin fell silent. He was right. If they kept up these inane and explosive arguments, they wouldn't be able to function as responsible adults over a child, especially one that is the combination of both of them. They would have to get their act together and just compromise.

"Jugo," Karin started softly. "We aren't going to kill him."

"You don't know that." Jugo spat out. "What if you punch him and he doesn't turn into water?"

Karin paused before sighing. "I promise not to punch our baby." Karin, in all her life, never thought she'd have to say those words.

Slowly Jugo nodded his head and Karin threw Suigetsu a meaningful look, forcing him to say something.

"Karin is right." Suigetsu nodded his head and looking at Karin for ideas of what to say.

"If you want, I will promise not to murder the baby too." Suigetsu smirked. Karin held back her groan but Jugo looked at Suigetsu.

"Would you?"  
>Suigetsu grinned. "Sure thing, bro. I'm not a baby murderer."<p>

A peaceful silence fell over the three of them. The first time in Taka history, really. Of course it didn't last long. Suigetsu would never allow it. "I kind of like Heizu." He muttered lowly.

Karin bit her lip in thought before nodding her head. "Same here."

Jugo smiled but it instantly broke as Suigetsu spoke. "Hozuki Heizu. Perfect."

Karin narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean Hozuki?"

Suigetsu sneered. "Uzumaki is a dumb last name."

"It's a powerful last name!"

"So is Hozuki!" Suigetsu snapped. "The strongest clan in all of mist!"

"Uzumaki is the name of the greatest charka-nins in the _world_. Plus, the savior nine tails shares the name."

"You want our baby to have the same name as that idiot Sasuke was obsessed with-Oh wait, of course you would."

"At least his last name wouldn't be associated with _murderers_."

"You're a murderer too!"

Jugo closed his eyes and settled back in the grass. Okay, so maybe it was too impossible to think they would just stop arguing like that. With a heavy sigh, Jugo smiled. Heizu. He liked it and _he_ came up with it. His teammates arguing created a nice white-noise for Jugo to sleep in. He sighed contently. At least they both promised to not kill the baby.

* * *

><p><strong>So the baby to be is finally named. Now, I don't claim to know any language but English and all my translations for the names came from google translate...if something is incorrect or has a different meaning than I gave please let me know and I will change it.<strong>

**Otherwise, thank you all for reading and reviewing. Your kind words from the last update were really motivating and thoughtful and I thank you all!**

**Anyways, until next time :)**


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